on why I run


I have been running now for one hundred and eleven days straight, and it feels really good.

I'm marking this occasion, in part, to remind myself that it does feel good. It feels great! I have written before about my former unhealthy body obsession, and simply being at the pool, after years of always training for something. The work of swimming without counting or timing has created a space for me to be meditative while moving: for me, it is bliss. I'm learning that I feel better when I have certain routines or habits. 

I like to feel good.

I wanted to do something every day: to have a daily habit. So, if swimming is so great, then why am I running? The small town where I live has a pool: for this, I am grateful beyond words. And, it's a small town. The pool isn't open for lane swimming every day. When it is open for lane swimming, there's often a struggle to get lane ropes actually in the pool (many mysteries simply defy logic, I'm also learning). So. . . no daily swim for me. I love the trails in our forest, so running seemed like a good idea.  

And now I run.

It's not always easy, but it feels good, and I like that. Today, I run for my head. I run for my spirit to be with nature. I run for that meditative feeling. I run to let the good ideas come in. And when I'm finished, I stop. Sometimes I walk half of the distance. Sometimes I wonder if my "run" is slower than my true walking pace. And really, none of it matters. I run for me, and for my connection to all that is. 

So I wonder, what do you do that is strictly for you: for your sense of connection? For your sense of deep-seated feeling good? Can it really feel easy? What could change for the better if that were a real possibility for you?