on starting

  1922 Swimsuit Photo, Miss America Contestants at Hotel Pool in Washington D.C. by eebeevintage on etsy  

 1922 Swimsuit Photo, Miss America Contestants at Hotel Pool in Washington D.C. by eebeevintage on etsy  

from January 1, 2014. . . and I still feel it as strongly, a year later.

I was at the pool one day last month when a former colleague, who also swims, commented on my being there.

See, at one time, I swam competitively. And then I used it as a means of hating my body. And, there have been times that became more obsessive than healthy. And I had seen her there in those times.

She asked, “Are you going to start coming back?”

Well, see, what about being at the pool means that I haven’t “started” anything? Or what’s to say that it’s the start of anything, and not simply a morning at the pool?

I’ve been going to the pool, this time, on my own terms. Two or three times per week. With compassion, toward myself and my body. Going when I feel like going, not keeping track of distance, and not following any kind of workout schedule. It’s like meditation for me.

No “starting,” simply being.

So, on New Year’s day, I’m all for celebrating the moment. Of being. Maybe also reflecting on the year gone by, and thinking toward the year ahead.

But no “starting.” Simply being.

(originally published on January 1, 2014, at my now defunct former space borealtrim.com)